Innuendo

It made me wonder: “How do scorpions fuck without killing each other?”

The answer of course, is- often, they don’t.

Males and females find each other by vibration, scent and touch. During mating, the sensory pectines under the body are used to find a suitable place for the male to deposit his sperm parcel – the spermatophore. The male and female then perform a mating dance above the spermatophore, with the female being wrestled into position over it in order to draw it up into her genital pore. The fertilised eggs develop inside her body, and she then gives birth to live young. She carries the pale young scorpions on her back for the first few days or weeks, until they are strong enough to become independent. The young then disperse to find food and shelter. Scorpions take a long time to reach maturity, moulting frequently (up to five or six times over two to six years) in order to grow, and may live for two to ten years. Some have been recorded as living up to 25 years.

Violent love: scorpion mating is dangerous for both parties. Most scorpions are loners because of their cannibalistic tendencies. When two scorpions meet, they usually fight until one is killed and eaten by the winner. After mating, the smaller scorpion is often in danger of being eaten. As females are usually bigger, it is the male which usually gets eaten.

The male and female find each other through pheromones, using their pectines. The male usually makes the first move, although some females do so. He usually has a complex courtship display to ensure the female knows he is one of her kind and not lunch. Some males “judder” (rapid rocking, shaking movements) to advertise his species (Vejovoides, Nebo). Some sting the female, possibly with pheromones, sedatives or other species identificators. Others club the female with their tails. Some males (Hadogenes) have ridiculously longer tails than females, suggesting that the length is important more for mating than hunting.

“We would look into one another’s eyes, not without dread; we were bound together, but we no longer felt the slightest hope.”

- Bataille

1. Causing great fear or alarm; dreadful: a terrible bolt of lightning; a terrible curse.

2. Extremely formidable: terrible responsibilities.

3. Extreme in extent or degree; intense: “the life for which he had paid so

terrible a price” (Leslie Fiedler).

4. Unpleasant; disagreeable: had a terrible time at the party;

terrible food.

5. Very bad: a terrible actor.

I want/ what I want

I want/ what I want

-Tool, Sober

New Years is one of my Holy days. It’s the day of my Mother, of death and rebirth. And true to form, that’s exactly what it was.

It’s like a tooth getting pulled after a few days… I am tonguing the socket where the tooth was, but the pain is mostly gone. It’s really been healing over for a while now, and New Years – Mother’s day- was just the curtain call. We found comfort for a few days, touching the places where we want, where we are made for each other- but there are just as many places we are not.

Wanting is not enough. A person may want you even if you are not what they need. You may want them even if they are not what you need.

I hope we do better next time. I wonder if this is what we were brought together to do. She is going back to the place she knows she will be safe, the place she never really left. Be safe, Judy. Keep warm, keep gardens, keep flowers, keep your fishpond, and love the things you love.

I don’t regret any of it. I learned so much. I grew so much. I scarred so much.

There is no going back, for either of us… and in that I have finally found peace. Relief. It’s time to bare these scars and move forward, in a way I could not do while I held on.

I just told my boi, in no uncertain terms, that we would not be resigning in a few months. That would be another step back. He has a home with me, with my friends, a place to come and visit- but he can’t live here. He can’t look for romance- and in the span of a month or so, for the comfort of authority, either.

New Years is time for endings and beginnings. There may have been a beginning as well. But I am not going to invest in expectations of that type… they just cause trouble down the line.

What I know is:

These things have ended, so that other things might begin.

That these things are what they are.

That I spent new Years among those I love, my family. The friends who I hold dearest- and those who were not there, they were thought of and missed.

It’s a new year. let’s see what I can make of it.

Goodbye.

If you hosted a New Year’s party, well, you are probably still wading through flaming pizza boxes, empties of every descripton, unconcious guests, and peeling dried condoms off the walls. (If you are not, what kinda party was that? Wuss.)

A wise man and absent friend of mine sent along some post-apocolyptic New Years party cleanup tips. As he is a genuinely funny man, I will take this opportunity to steal his material. O Jester, thank you kindly.

My advice is don’t bother cleaning the bathroom until AFTER they